Oxford pals: I’m reading at Off Square Books at 5 tonight. Still trying to figure things out.

Ideas for reading:
1) wear “lucky” shoes
2) read a Michael Madsen poem to start
3) show them all my inventions
4) use the phrase “boner pies” at least five times
5) make a “connection” with other people who are dead inside
6) bring a small bag of garbage and go through it on stage
7) pretend my book is really heavy
8) lift everything around me that is kind of heavy
9) try to hide gas by making siren noises
10) get “whacked” on coffee
11) touch tongues with old guy in front row
12) talk about total loss of faith in God