These are the first lines of the eight stories in Death Don’t Have No Mercy, my most recent book, out now from Broken River. I don’t know why I’m doing this. I’ve seen other people do it, and I guess I like it. I like seeing the lines away from their stories, even away from their titles. Maybe it’ll make you want to check out the book. Maybe it won’t. Probably I’m dumb. Have a good afternoon. I’m going to rest my big stupid head for a few hours. You can buy the book here or here if you didn’t blow all your money on a shitty sandwich made of processed foot cheese and horse kisses.

1. Calhoun wasn’t sure why he’d stolen the Walkman from the kid.
2. Yank Byrd addressed the letter to the editors of Broken Spoke and then typed: I hope like hell you’ll consider the enclosed story, “The Incredible Bright Life of the Snatch Pie Coeds.”
3. The poor box was pretty well-secured to the floor and it took a good push to get it loose.
4. “Don’t listen to them, Clip,” the old cut man said.
5. He had gone to the house in Phoenicia to clear his head.
6. Books got back in early March.
7. Mullen had returned to the old neighborhood for one reason: the last time he was home he’d hidden two thousand dollars in twenties in a shoebox in the crawlspace of his grandmother’s attic.
8. By the time I got to Coney Island, I’d started to worry that Uncle Harry wouldn’t be happy to see me.